Five years ago, I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom, Christmas music blaring from my phone, while I wrapped Christmas presents. The door was locked because I know how my family is and they will try to sneak a peek. I didn’t hear the phone ring, but it must have, and still to this day, I don’t know who called, but there was some whispering by the door and then a knock. It was Amy, asking me to open the door in a serious voice. I rolled my eyes, paused my music, and threw a blanket over the unwrapped gifts and opened the door. Amy was there, with tears in her eyes to let my know that my Grandma has passed away. This was the most devastating thing I had yet to deal with in my 30 years of life. My grandma was my biggest fan. We had a special bond and her love was truly unconditional. My Grandma and Papa were there for all of the biggest events of my life, driving several hours straight to be there for my 1st birthday, meeting my parents so we could spend entire summers in North Carolina with them, they surprised me on my 16th birthday, and were there for my high school graduation, gifting me my first diamond ring. My Grandma was shocked when I came out but her love for me never wavered and she welcomed Amy into our family with open arms, mandating everyone else be on their best behavior when we visited. I can recall the most random memories with my Grandma, like the grocery trips every Thursday and then there are the memories that come when I’m not expecting them. When it’s the middle of summer and the house is freezing because of the air conditioner, I always think of my Grandma, who could freeze out Santa Clause. Whenever someone is drinking a Pepsi or scratching a lottery ticket, or sewing, she’s there. Five years later, I still forget, picking up the phone to call her just to ask what else she puts in her chicken and dumplings recipe, and mostly, that would just be an excuse to call her anyway. She taught me that recipe when I was 15, I know it by heart.
Sometimes the holidays suck for this reason. This will be the first year I will be celebrating Christmas since my Papa passed as well, and Amy’s Grandma died the year before mine. While we both have family left, most of them live in other states and no one has the time or money to travel. But we find balance. Amy, Stephen, and I have created our own traditions. We do a Secret Santa gift exchange with our friends every year, which always makes for a great time. We have food, inappropriate gifts, and lots of laughs. Another tradition is to watch “A Christmas Story” on Christmas day. I’m not sure how much of it we actually watch but it’s usually running in the background while we’re playing with our new toys. Also, every year on Christmas day we make our way to the beach. For one because we love it but also to take a picture and rub it in to our families up north, in the snow. The holidays are always bittersweet for us now, but we try to emphasize the sweet. Stephen is getting older and it’s just a matter of time before he’s off at college or traveling the world on Christmas. Maybe when that happens, Amy and I can start spending Christmas in the Keys… hey, there’s something to look forward to!
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