I saw a Facebook post this weekend from a girl I went to high school with. It was her birthday and she had just turned 36. "Wow, 36?" I thought to myself, "I didn't realize she was so much older than me, that's weird" Wrong. She is not, in fact, sooooo much older than me. I will be 36 in a few short months, but I forget, literally. I don't feel like I'm in my mid-thirties, barreling towards 40. Well, I lie. I physically feel like I’m 75 with a bad knee, eyes that I have (proudly) ruined reading for 30 years, and the inability to eat anything remotely spicy without taking two kinds of stomach medicine. Turning 30 hit me pretty hard mentally because I hadn’t achieved any of the goals I had set for myself. Looking back, I know that most of those goals were unrealistic, nonsensical, & based on societal standards. At 35, I have now met several of my goals and some goals have changed. What hasn’t changed is the feeling that I’m not old enough to be this old! I sometimes wonder how I was ever allowed to have a baby and actually raise a child. I still don’t feel mature enough to go to parent-teacher conferences and discipline someone else on cleaning up after themselves. And who in their right mind let me buy a house? That I must maintain and pay for!
I used to be very dramatic about getting older, but I think I’ve finally started to embrace it. I know there’s no stopping it anyway so why fight it? I guess I can start looking forward to getting those AARP discounts in the mail. My hairdresser gave me tips on how to keep my gray hair looking fresh this weekend and I was excited for the advice. Does that mean I’m finally maturing? I hope not…
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